More Than a Host – A Behind-the-Scenes Orchestrator
When people attend a beautifully planned dinner party or an elegant charity fundraiser at a private home, they often walk away talking about the food, the décor, the music, and how “effortless” it all felt. What they rarely see is the person working quietly behind the scenes to make it all happen—the House Manager.
For over 20 years, I’ve been in that role. I’ve worked alongside world-class chefs, planned events on tight timelines, and handled everything from last-minute guest list changes to lighting issues five minutes before showtime. I’ve learned that while the guests enjoy the experience, I enjoy the orchestration—the moving parts, the pressure, the transformation of a home into something truly unforgettable.
Every Event Starts With a Vision
Whether it’s an intimate dinner for ten or a full-scale fundraiser with 100 guests, every event starts the same way: with a conversation. My job is to take my client’s vision—sometimes clearly defined, sometimes just a vague idea—and turn it into a reality.
I ask the questions that fill in the blanks: What kind of mood are we creating? Formal or casual? Sit-down meal or passed hors d’oeuvres? Live music or soft background tracks? Indoors or outdoors? Seasonal colors or a specific theme?
Once I understand the client’s goals, I begin working on logistics. And let me tell you—logistics are everything. Timing, flow, lighting, scent, temperature, staff movement, vendor coordination, valet services—all of these details affect how an event feels to the guest.
Choosing the Right Team
No private event succeeds without the right people in place. One of the most important parts of my role is assembling a trustworthy, skilled team. I’ve built long-standing relationships with florists, caterers, rental companies, and entertainers, which means I can confidently bring in people who understand discretion, quality, and professionalism.
When I’ve had the opportunity to work alongside chefs like Wolfgang Puck or Chef Conner, it wasn’t just a culinary experience—it was a masterclass in how to deliver excellence under pressure. I bring that same attention to detail and calm energy to every event I manage, no matter the size.
And while vendors play a huge part, in-house staff also need clear direction. I make sure everyone knows their role, from servers to bartenders to greeters. Communication and leadership behind the scenes make the event look seamless out front.
Managing the Details
I always say, it’s the little things that guests remember. The scent of fresh flowers, the softness of the lighting, the way the champagne is always refilled at just the right time—all of that adds up to a feeling of warmth and luxury.
I’ve spent hours choosing linens, reviewing seating charts, and testing different lighting levels in the dining room just to make sure everything feels “right.” When you’re planning events in a private home, you’re not just managing an event—you’re protecting someone’s personal space. That requires respect, sensitivity, and great timing.
I always do a full walkthrough before guests arrive, checking sightlines, ensuring music volumes are set properly in each area, and reviewing the flow of service. I also make sure there’s a Plan B (and sometimes C) in case of rain, power outages, or unexpected guest count changes. After 20 years, I’ve learned that preparation is everything.
Adapting in Real Time
One of the most valuable skills I’ve developed as a House Manager is learning how to stay calm under pressure. Private events come with surprises—guests show up with plus-ones, allergies get overlooked, someone spills red wine on the rug, or a key vendor is running late. My job is to fix it fast, quietly, and without disrupting the mood.
It’s all about keeping your cool, thinking creatively, and never letting the stress show. I’ve had to reorganize table settings minutes before guests were seated, source a missing dessert tray from across town, and adjust seating arrangements when personalities clashed. But through it all, my goal remains the same: make the client and their guests feel like everything is going exactly as planned.
Making It Personal
What makes a private event special isn’t just the setup or the food—it’s the feeling. I work hard to help clients add personal touches that make an event memorable. That could be custom place cards with handwritten notes, a favorite childhood dish recreated by the chef, or a photo slideshow playing softly in the background of a fundraiser.
Especially with charity events or intimate family milestones, emotions can run high. Part of my role is to read the room, anticipate needs, and step in with gentle support or practical help when needed.
The Reward Is in the Results
At the end of the night, after the last guest has left and the candles have burned down, there’s a moment I always treasure—the quiet moment when the client turns to me and says, “Thank you. That was perfect.”
That’s what keeps me going. It’s not about the recognition or the glamour—it’s about creating a meaningful experience for people. Helping them celebrate, honor, or connect in ways that truly matter.
A Career Built on Moments
Planning private events is just one part of my work as a House Manager, but it’s one of the most rewarding. It brings together everything I love—creativity, organization, service, and heart.
Over the years, I’ve helped turn countless ideas into unforgettable nights. And while guests may remember the sparkle of the chandeliers or the taste of the dessert, I’ll always remember the quiet satisfaction of knowing I helped make it all happen.
That’s the joy of this career—and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.